Thursday, March 17, 2011

Correction to Introduction

So, I'm not so good at remembering dates! I just heard from Diane, Zoie's first owner. She let me know that I have my dogs' ages wrong! Zoie was three when we adopted her and Lilly was two. Currently Zoie is five and Lilly is four. THANKS DIANE!!!
--Lin
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Wednesday, March 16, 2011

Even the Smallest Adventure is Fraught with Craziness

Are dogs ambivalent or just plain stupid? Zoie is never outside unless she is hooked up to something; and that still doesn’t keep her from breaking through fences, putting Corgis in her mouth, and traipsing down the middle of the road.  She knows the leash or tie out is hooked to her, because it inevitably is wrapped around or under one of her legs.  However, when choosing what route to take, she goes without exception, whatever way will ensure that she gets wrapped around something.  Be it a huge bush, a lawn chair, or the swing set,  she feels it is better to get wrapped around and pull against it than just go the other way.  Does she crave the attention she gets from me calling her an idiot every time she does it or does she just like to test her own strength?

Today, the two dogs were playing in the backyard and Lilly was agitating Zoie. As usual, Zoie lunged at her to take her down.  She knew she was tied up.  She also knew the leash was around her leg.  Yet she ran at full speed until her leg was taken out from under her.  What was her reaction? To get mad at Lilly and replay the whole event over.  It was a nice day out so I wanted them to spend some time outside. But, I wasn’t into this action.

I decided to walk Zoie around the front yard and leave Lilly in the backyard.  Zoie the freight train rarely gets to go in the front yard because simply put, she is bad.  If anyone walks by on our busy street, she goes crazy.  If a dog is being walked, she can literally pull you right off the front steps and down the driveway on your butt before you even know what happened  For a little Saint, she is quite strong.  Any attempts to train her to not be a complete beast in the presence of other dogs has been useless and quite painful.

I opened the gate that separates the backyard from the driveway and Zoie showed her excitement by running through and heading toward the side of the car.  Did she take the unobstructed path? No.  She walked past and around the trash and recycling cans, the leash wrapping around them. Luckily I was able to run forward so there was enough slack in the leash to prevent them from toppling over.  After I unwrapped her and we walked past my car, she swiftly walked into the neighbor’s yard, wrapping herself around a tree.  It would be nice to say that it ended there.  She proceeded to wrap herself around picker bushes, the lamp post, and a no parking sign.  These are literally the ONLY items there are to wrap herself around.  Well, at least she is 5 for 5.















The whole time we were in the front yard, Zoie sees the cars going by down the road.  Does this stop her from wanting to run in the street? Of course not.  I thought she was simply trying unsuccessfully to escape and run down the hill to the main road. But no, she just wanted to stand in the road and watch the cars go by. Better view? I guess so.



Lilly was in the backyard whining and crying the whole time, so I decided to bring the beast inside and bring Lilly to the front yard.  Lilly isn’t one to wrap herself around things, but she did get stuck in the picker bushes separating the yards.  With white froth around her nostrils, she took advantage of the 20 foot leash to dart into the road about 5 times.  However, she WAS trying to escape.  For those of you who are thinking I’m irresponsible for letting her be near the street, there were no cars coming. I’m not stupid.

Lessons learned from the dogs today:  1. Not all dogs take joy in wrapping themselves around everything.  Just Beasts.  2. Dogs are apparently attracted to picker bushes by some electrical field we cannot sense.

---Lin

Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Introducing Bacon and the Beast

We have two dogs; not a bear, horse, goat, or pig.  Sometimes it feels like we have all of that and more. We have taken to watching our dogs behavior and calling them other animals.

Zoie the St. Bernard makes noises that closely mimic those of bears and horses. Like a bear, she lumbers around slowly and clumsily, yet turns into an efficient beast very quickly when provoked.  Small children can ride her and she does a back step instead of turning around to move away from things, just like a horse.  She is small for a Saint, only 115 pounds and VERY un-St. Bernard like.  She drools less than our boxer, won't pull Kara on her sled, and isn't a cuddler. She is, in essence, a dobearorse (dog, bear, horse).

We didn't name Zoie because we adopted her when she was four. I don't think she looks like a Zoie because I think a Zoie should be little and well- behaved. She is quite the opposite of this.  We have adapted by giving her nicknames like any pet owner does.  She is referred to as Zoozoo, Zoolove, Big Love, ZhuZhu Pet, Beast, and Beastly One. 

Lilly the boxer is typical of all boxers; she jumps, makes bizarre noises, and has a lot of gas (especially when she eats bananas). When she was younger, I used to come home from work to shredded papers and chewed books almost every day.  She also has an unnatural craving for Ikea light bulbs. We don't understand it, but we will find bases of bulbs, and the glass portion simply disappears. She must be eating them, but she's never had a stomach problem, nor have they come out the other end. As with goats, there a trend that she will pretty much eat anything. Lilly is a tad bit overweight as boxers are not supposed to have fat rolls.  Included in her noise repertoire are some very convincing pig sounds.

Lilly was named after a character in the TV drama, Crossing Jordan, and her full given name is Lilly Bunkins Monkey McGruff Wall.  I also call her Lulu, Bunky Monkey, Bunker, BooBoo Girl, PooPoo, Fatty, and My Number One.  Since the fat rolls appeared, Kara has started calling her Porker and Bacon. She comes to any combination of these names as well as to Zoie, simply so she can get the treat first.

Stay tuned for crazy tales and tails of Bacon and the Beast.

--Lin and Kara